you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
