you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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