I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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