my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
