Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
