Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
