Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
