i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
