What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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