my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That's how pantless uber rides happen
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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