i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
