Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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