When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
