He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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