The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
