My sheets look like a crime scene.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Farmville is her only friend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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