super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
