From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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