Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
