is your mom at the bar?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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