I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We have started to decorate penises.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
