R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is it penis luge time yet?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
