he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
