I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
