I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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