We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
