Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
