And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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