yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
