and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
