I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
