just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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