Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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