My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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