No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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