You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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