Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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