So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
