To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
