Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
