I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
