I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was born a porn star she said
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
