I wanna passion pit in your ass
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize