Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
