You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's get the cat blown out
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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