Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I look better un-naked...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
