Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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