dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You are the jesus of drinking
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
