Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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