I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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