She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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