So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
