somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
