he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
