Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize