His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
