When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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