He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
