i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
