you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
