omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
