Can Purell be used as lube?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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