i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
