you win again, gameday.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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