It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
