I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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