i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
