This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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