I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
