I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
