He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
